Bald-Faced Liar

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Where did that expression come from, anyway? It makes me think of old W.C. Fields’ movies, for some reason. I want to thank Hope, author of the amazingly fabulous TARTITUDE blog, for tagging me in this liars’ game!

I’m all for Little White Lies – not that I’m stupid enough to ask my husband if those pants make my ass look big (I’ve seen the numbers on the scale; don’t remind me). I think lies of the Little White persuasion keep us civilized, especially when they are told out of kindness.

Not that I’m Pinocchio or anything. I’m not a compulsive liar. In fact, I’m such a Pollyanna, every time even the eensiest lie leaves my lips my stomach starts to churn. I generally tangle myself up in so many unnecessary elaborations that it becomes instantly obvious I’m lying through my teeth. And where did that phrase come from?

One of my favorite books is Jennifer Crusie’s TELL ME LIES and I like this song a lot, too:

Since most of the people who follow this blog are writers or readers, you and I should be equally good at lying. It’s not really lying – we’re just telling stories! Which is part of the premise of another favorite Crusie book, the recently re-released THE CINDERELLA DEAL.

And here’s another appropriate song for this post:

Okay, here are seven statements about me. Only two are true – can you guess which they are?

1. I led the Pep Squad in high school, and I still have my pom-poms in a shadow box on the wall by my computer desk.

2. I have a twin sister who lives in Albuquerque; we’re fraternal twins – not identical. She’s the pretty one.

3. During Fashion Week, I was once flown to Paris to deliver a designer Zandra Rhodes gown and a pair of Manolo Blahnik stilettos to a fashion show.

4. Lobster is my favorite food, but I’ll eat anything that comes from the sea.

5. I was born on the Isle of Skye and still have relatives in Scotland.

6. I once won a Scotch whiskey taste test where the prize was a haggis. It was the first time I ever tasted Scotch; I told them they could keep the prize.

7. I’m a speed freak with a lead foot, and I’m secretly a NASCAR groupie.

————————————————————————————

I now hereby pass on the Liar’s Torch to these writers/bloggers ( in no particular order!):

1. Gabriella Edwards, Author: http://gabbegirl.blogspot.com/?zx=59e75550cfbc86cd

2. Tonya Kappes, Chasingheroes: http://chasingheroes.com/

3. Keri Stevens, Leap!: http://keristevens.blogspot.com/

4. Renee Vincent, Past the Print: http://pasttheprint.blogspot.com/

5. Jessica Davis, Don’t Call Me Jessie: http://notjessie.blogspot.com/

6. Monica Burns, Monica & Her Muse: http://monicaburns.blogspot.com/

7. Keta Diablo, Keta’s Keep: http://ketaskeep.blogspot.com/

Here are the rules, for those I have nominated:

1. Thank the person who gave this to you. (Thank you, Hope/Jan!)
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.
5. Nominate seven “Creative Writers” who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

Can you tell when my nose was growing? For the truth about my Seven Deadly White-or-not-so-White Lies, check back later in the week!

19 responses »

  1. I’m like you, Monica – I can NEVER tell when people are lying. My son does it — makes up elaborate stories — just to see if he can get me going, which he always can.

  2. 3 and 6! Oooh, ooh! 3 and 6!!!! You did 3 and 6!

    I’m pretty intuitive, but I don’t always catch people in a fib. My husband has an adorable dimple that pops out whenever he’s trying to get away with pulling the wool over my peepers. But we’ve been together for 18 years.

    Love this! Just wish I had my blog up and running!

  3. I am a notoriously terrible guesser and tend to be trusting, all of which is to say you should all guess the opposite of me; BUT, I’ll say #1 and #3 are the lies.

    #1 because while you have the energy to lead a pep squad, I think I’ve seen a photo of your office. I don’t recall the pom poms.

    #3 because I’ve never heard of you having a fashion connection. I know you’re now attached to bling and clothes, but I had the impression that was a recent thing.

  4. KAK! I’m so excited you stopped by! I’m going to post the answers tomorrow. My daughter knew one of the answers and guessed #1 as the other. The truth will be revealed on Friday!!

  5. As promised, here is one of the TRUE statements. I’ll post the other true statement on Friday (which is less than an hour away!)

    6. I once won a Scotch whiskey taste test where the prize was a haggis. It was the first time I ever tasted Scotch; I told them they could keep the prize.

    This contest took place at the Athenaeum Hotel in Piccadilly, London. It was a party for the cast of Damien: Omen II. I worked for an American company that booked a lot of rooms at the hotel, and I had become friends with the hotel manager. It was one wild party!

  6. Time for the truth: the other truthful statement (in addition to #6, shown above) is #3:

    3. During Fashion Week, I was once flown to Paris to deliver a designer Zandra Rhodes gown and a pair of Manolo Blahnik stilettos to a fashion show.

    I worked at Marshall Field & Co.’s London office for five years as a resident buyer. Even though fashion wasn’t my beat (toys, china and hard goods were), it was a small office and during Fashion Week we all had to pitch in.

    Zandra was one of the hottest British designers at the time and I was lucky enough to meet her a few times. I still own a scarf she designed – and I could barely afford that! When there was a hold-up with a gown that was to be featured in her Paris show and all of her people were already in Paris, I was despatched to hand-deliver the gown and the Manolo Blahniks that were to be worn with it.

    It was very exciting, except for the part where I had to book my hotel. The company paid for it, but I don’t recommend trying to book a room at the last minute in April, in Paris, during Fashion Week.

    On the plus side, since my plane fare and the hotel room were being covered, my husband decided to buy a plane ticket and join me. He mentioned it to his boss who said, “I’ll buy your ticket – it sounds like fun. How would it be if my wife and I came along, too? We can have a business meeting to make it a business trip, and then we can have some fun!”

    We are still friends with his boss, although he has remarried since then. And we had the MOST fun in Paris that weekend.

    We went to Le Souffle (can’t figure out how to make the accent here) and had a great meal in the Renault showroom, of all places. Bought a cute outfit on the Left Bank and my DH got me a darling panda bear. We bought some records by French pop singers and I tried out my high school French. (Turns out I spoke it so well they assumed I could understand when they replied in much-too-fast-for-me-to-understand dialogue!)

    One of my favorite memories is of walking along the Champs Elysees one night and seeing a crowd in front a store window – I think it was a Sony store. There were a lot of TVs in the window, and they were all turned to a rare concert by the Beach Boys.

    All these people from all over the world, crowded around a shop window in Paris, grinning and bobbing their heads in time to the music. And in all kinds of accents, they said the same thing: “The Boys!!” I wasn’t even a huge fan, but it gave me chills.

    Aaaah. Memories.

  7. Quick notes on the lies:

    1. I led the Pep Squad in high school, and I still have my pom-poms in a shadow box on the wall by my computer desk.

    Too funny. Even my daughter thought this was true. My, my. In those days I was dating a guy who wore a black leather jacket, had slicked back hair and had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Later I was a hippie-type, braless, mini-skirted and a little bit feminist. I was the editor-in-chief of the high school paper, and politically active. (I was AT the riots at the Democratic convention in Chicago back in the day.)

    2. I have a twin sister who lives in Albuquerque; we’re fraternal twins – not identical. She’s the pretty one.

    I have a brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, aunt, two cousins and cousin’s-daughter in Albuquerque; I love that city. My grandmother was a fraternal twin and I always wished there were more twins in our family.

    4. Lobster is my favorite food, but I’ll eat anything that comes from the sea.

    I have eaten probably two bites of lobster; it didn’t kill me but I was never tempted to go back for more. NOT a seafood lover, by any means. I’ll eat cod, tuna and not much else. You can keep sushi!

    5. I was born on the Isle of Skye and still have relatives in Scotland.

    I had ancestors in Scotland but I’ve never visited the Isle of Skye. Only been to Edinburgh once, but I have a friend in Morayshire who I hope to visit one day.

    7. I’m a speed freak with a lead foot, and I’m secretly a NASCAR groupie.

    I am the most chicken driver you ever met. I avoid driving whenever possible. Although when I DO drive, I tend to prefer the winding, narrow roads rather than expressways. Never had a ticket, but when I took my driving test I passed maneuverability first time but failed the driving part because I was “too cautious.” Passed the next time.

    Never been to a NASCAR race, although I did go to some local races when I was in high school. (SundaySundaySunday local speedway races, not NASCAR). But I do read some NASCAR romances, and I LOVE Erin McCarthy’s race car books.

  8. Hahaha. Do you realize, Anya, that even after I set you up for this meme, I did it wrong? That’s what happens when you’re functioning on sleep fumes. Yoikes.

    Anyway, too neat about the weekend in Paris. I’m jealous because I’ve always wanted to go. As for the haggis? Yeah…they could keep their prize too. 😯

  9. Delightful blog entry, Anya. It really proves that the truth is probably far more outrageous than fiction. The haggis story is hysterical! I would have passed on that one as well!

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